~Dilemma~

Had a lousy lunch today. Went to UOA with my lunch buddy without knowing what to eat. Pregnancy makes me undecisive when it comes to eating. I always feel very hungry but nothing seems able to fulfill my appetite. Anyway, once we entred the food court, I saw someone eating porridge. Yes! That's what I'm gonna have today. So I happily went to the stall, asked for a porridge from the aunty and picked my lauk. After paying only did I realize it was not actually a porridge. It was more of rice with hot water... urghhh.... but I was not in the mood of arguing with that aunty today so I just accepted the fact that I was cheated by that aunty.. :(

Back to the topic.. well.. these couple of days my mom has been persuading me to deliver my baby in Terengganu - my hometown. Must be all those aunties around her... URGHHHHH...

My initial plan was to deliver the baby in KL, wait for 10 days, then fly back with the baby for confinement in Terengganu. But my mom said she could not take leave that long. So I compromised. Deliver the baby in KL, after being discharged from the hospital, maybe on the 3rd or 4th day, I take the morning flight back to Terengganu while my husband drives my mom and the baby that same morning. And my mom was okay with that all the while.

Now, she asked me to take leave 1 week before my Expected Date of Delivery ("EDD") and go back to Terengganu to deliver the baby. How am I supposed to know when will I deliver? I have friends who delivered 2 weeks earlier than the EDD and friends who delivered 2 weeks after the EDD. From my limited knowledge, doctor would only force you to deliver (read induce) if you are 2 weeks late from your EDD. This is because EDD is calculated from your Last Menstrual Period ("LMP") and not from the day the baby is conceived.

I had never deliver a baby before. How am I going to know whether I am the type who is in labour for 30 hours before deliver or the lucky ones who is in labour for only 2 hours before the baby pops out? Another urghhhh....

Further, I don't have much leave left. I'd prefer to take the leave after the confinement period ends so I could spend more time with the baby coz most likely I won't bring the baby back to KL with me right away.

So she asked me to take MC. How can I take MC for 1 week before my EDD? What if I deliver 2 weeks after EDD? That means I have to take at least 15 days of MC. My company only allows 15 days of MC every year of which I have used up most of it due the nauseas, backache, swollen feet, etc throughout my pregnancy.... urghhh...

Terengganu is not near mommy dear. Even if I can take leave or MC 1 week before my EDD, no airlines would allow me to fly with them due to the 36 weeks policy. So, I have to endure at least 6 hours ride with the baby still in my tummy. Sitting in the office for more than 2 hours is enough to make my back ache and my feet swollen what more 6 hours. What if the baby wants to pop out when we are on the way? Isn't that a high risk?

That is why I'd prefer to fly back after safely deliver the baby. Flight to KT is only 45 minutes that translates to less than 1/6 of the journey time. Am I not making sense here?

As for the baby, 6 hours won't be that long. He could sleep safely in the baby car seat and fed every 2 hours. That is why I bought the breast pump! So the baby would not be hungry though mommy is not with him.

She said what if the baby has jaundice or hospitalize for whatever reason? Well, if we had to stay in the hospital longer and she could not take leave, she can always go back first and come back again when we are discharged. I am sure the nurses in the hospital would be able to help me to take care of the baby and myself during our stay. I need help most only after being discharge from the hospital.

Another thing, even if I could go back and deliver the baby in Terengganu, how can my husband follow me? He is only given 15 days of Annual Leave per year. I want him to be by my side during the delivery. I want him to be the one to azan to my baby. I want him to witness how painful it is for me to deliver him his bundle of joy.

Of course I wish my mom could be by my side as well during the delivery. But if it is not possible, I want her to be with me at least after the delivery. My husband would not be much of help after delivery :p

What am I supposed to do? urghhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~ Tension~~