Wednesday, November 18, 2009


Have you seen this billboard before? I passed this on my way to and fro the office. No matter how many times I have passed the billboard, it never fails to make me feel "seghiau". It's so real I feel as though I am the one who is up there. I couldn't find the right word to describe "seghiau". I don't even know if it's a real word. Anyone could help me?

~ The Decision ~

Last night, in my Dale Carnegie Course class, we were asked to share the defining moment in our lives. Well, 5 months ago, I made a decision that has made an abrupt change to my life.

5 months ago, I was working in the Corporate & Investment Banking division of one of the largest Islamic Bank in the world. I really love what I was doing. My day to day job included analysing the financial standing of our clients. From time to time I had to travel for site visits either locally or abroad. The industry was very competitive I would say. We have to ensure we work very fast to be able to close the deal. The datelines for new tasks were always yesterday! Not only my day at work was tiring, I also had to endure 2 hours of traffic every morning and another 2 hours in the evening.

The stress at work and the stress from the traffic really drained my energy. To be able to reach office at 8.30am, I had to leave at 6.30 am. I usually reached home at 8pm earliest. Maybe on some good days I could reach home at 7.30 pm. But on busy days, I might only leave office at midnight. When I reached home, I was already too tired to cook or play with my son. All I wanted was just a good rest and sleep. Day by day, I became more cranky and grumpier. I snapped at my husband and I scolded my son on a daily basis.

One day, it dawned on me that my life was miserable. All the money I earned meant nothing. I rarely see my friends anymore. Or more like I never see my friends anymore. I was mean at home. So, I started asking myself, is this what I want? Is this how I want to grow my son? By scolding and scream at him every single day? For how long? Do I want to be like my bosses who are always in the office? And my answers to all the questions were NO.

This incident happened on a Friday. On the very next Monday, I tendered my 3 months notice. My bosses were surprised. My colleagues were shocked. They did not expect this from me. In the beginning, of course I had doubts. Was I making the right decision? What if I don't like my new job? What if I miss analysing the financials? How about my salary? Would I still be able to sustain my lifestyle? But I brushed all the questions off. I told myself, this is something I had to do and sacrifice for the better of my family.

After my 3 months notice ended, I spent half a month 24 7 with my son. Our relationship grew stronger. I cooked for him, I played with him, I sang and danced with him. It was the greatest 2 weeks of my life.

On 1st October, I started my new job in Damansara. Though the distance to my new office is only 4km less than my old bank, the traffic is great! Even if I leave the house at 8 am, I could still reach my office on time and on some lucky days, I could even have a quick breakfast with my colleagues first before work starts. The workload is just nice. As I am working in a different industry, I found it not as stressing as analysing the financials of a company and worrying whether the client could meet its financial obligations. In the evening, if I leave my office at 5.30pm sharp, I would be able to reach home before 6.30 pm.

I now have time to walk my son to the playground and spend quality time with him. After maghrib, I will cook for my husband. With constant practice, I think my cooking skill has improved tremendously. Though of course there is still huge room for improvement.  Last weekend, my husband told me that he has noticed the change in me. I am a nicer person now. I am not as grumpy and cranky as I was a couple of months back. I am glad he noticed it and mentioned it to me. That has really made my day..

I know I am a happier person now. So, I guess I made the right decision after all.

Oh, and this is Adam's latest picture. Isn't he very tall?